Thursday, January 12, 2012

A Fork in the Road....

For the past ten years, my life hasn't had many surprises. It's been fairly predictable. We've been in the same town, the same house and the same church for twelve years! Coming to a fork in the road never  upset me. The decisions weren't life altering. I'd love to tell you that I'm so thoughtful and weigh out all my options....but NOPE....I'm spontaneous, impulsive and visual. Usually the best looking "road" WINS!! Up until this past year I was able to make decisions easily and without a lot of consequence.

This past Sunday, our "Girls Nite In" group met and we discussed toxic relationships. (This is a ministry to teen girls where we talk about real issues they face.) During my speaking time, I shared with the teens.....over 60 of them.....something HUGE that I felt God wanted them to know. This is the major lesson the Lord has taught me this past year:

When something major happens in our world (for me, it was my Mom dying).....when life is turned upside down....when we are hurt, frustrated and discouraged.....when people leave us or let us down.....we have TWO options. Only two......

We can give up. We can sit in the corner, with our head between our knees....rocking back and forth in utter despair....all alone. We can give into the emotion of the moments and let them eat away at us.(OR) We can run to God....with all our emotions, all our tears, all our muck....and cling on to Him for dear life. We don't have to understand the "whys" of what's going on. We don't even need to solve it....we just have to trust that God knew it would happen and He is holding us up!!! I shared with the teen girls that night, that the first option leaves us alone and empty. It might feel good to hide away somewhere and fall apart. It may satisfy something in us to remove ourselves from the world and the people around us. But this is only temporary because tomorrow will come and the situation will still be there. When we CHOOSE to follow option two....and draw near to God....that won't take away the pain and hurt. It doesn't make the situation go away. What it does is direct our footsteps to a loving God who desires to walk WITH US through the thick and thin. The muddied, messy life will come and God doesn't want us to be alone....HE wants to be WITH US!!! Are you letting Him be with you??

After my Mom died....I wasn't sure how to breathe. It was so sudden that I couldn't quite catch my breath. Each day of going through her things, cleaning out her house and going to the funeral home.....cut  my heart like a knife. I hated every moment of that process! I had "a fork in the road" moment and I needed to decide. I will be honest....I wanted so desperately to throw my hands up in the air and give up. To tell the Lord I was done. This game of life is not fun and I am not playing anymore. But I didn't. Through different people and situations, God kept walking alongside me putting one foot in front of the other. He breathed life in me everyday and because of HIM I am on the end of the grief journey. I don't regret choosing to draw near to Him because He has shown me the better way. He reminded me last Sunday....we have TWO choices and only TWO: Give up or Go to God. Choose wisely my sweet friends!!!!

"Consider it pure joy, whenever you have many kinds of troubles,
because you know that thes troubles test your faith and will give you
perseverance (endurance, patience).Let your perseverace show itself
perfectly in what you do. Then you  will be mature and complete and
will have everything you need." James 1:2-4


  1. Yes. I remember those moments. I remember every second from after she breathed her last breath. I remember her looking into my eyes. I remember when my dad looked at me and we both realized that life would never be the same. I remember when my grandma put her head in my lap. I remember when they put her in the body bag- I was afraid of the sound of zippers for months. I remember when they wheeled her body out the door and put her in the back of a mini van. I remember sleeping only to wake in the morning and tell my little sisters that their mom was gone. I remember the first meals we ate after that. Every moment creeping by, wishing the world would stop and pause... or that we could just leave this moment because it shouldn't be happening to us... But above all else, I remember feeling God's love so tangible that even though my world had crashed around me... I KNEW I was loved. I knew He would get us through. One step at a time. I KNEW He would make everything okay.

  2. its the scary messy gritty parts of life that grow us and define who we are... they are what give us perspective and compassion for others... I love this T!! Thank You!

  3. ...we always have a choice to make. Do we trust Him or not? Amen to your sweet thots here, my sister.

  4. Thank you sweet friends for your thoughts!!! I wouldn't trade the things God has shown me.....You are beautiful ladies!!!!